Sunday, December 21, 2008

Mano-amoeba

Since landing in Brisbane activities have been punctuated by rather unsavoury confrontations with my baser humanity.

The doctors current best guess is Giardia:



but other organisms are also in the running. So of course there's tests.

There's nothing so humbling as visiting Queensland Medical Labs clutching a little specimen jar, with a brown lid.

For some reason my delightful husband has latched onto the idea that its an amoeba, even more quizzical for the fact he'd gotten amoeba confuddled with anemone, and kept asking me if it'd "turned up yet" after every trip I made to the WC.

He had the idea it was sort of lurking in the depths of me, like a sizeable tentacled homunculus (instead of some microscopic beasty).

I suppose its a bit more glamorous to be mortally wounded by some large sea creature, even if it is from the inside, than it is to be struck low by something that is chillingly reminiscent of the Java mascot.

I don't know if he planned to go in there, and take it on, armed with a BBQ fork like a trident, battling it like something out of Herman Melville.

Just for reference, here is a deep sea anemone.



More tips and tricks from my friend Don:
The trick to fighting an amoeba mano-amoeba is to blow its mind with philosophy.
The old "what is love?" gambit works well, but if necessary "this sentence is a lie" is a fan fave from time immemorial.
So its time I think to post this useful guide to determing which of these easilty confused organisms are noxious gastric pests, and which are larger bottom dwelling predators.

An amoeba:


Nasty, green - maybe its just the lighting. I think in society we tend to cast the amoeba in a bad light - no-one ever talks about the great work they do in the community.

Always stained with the stigma of the single-celled organism.

And with that stuff biologists use in their microscopy. What chance do they have.


Not actually single-celled, definitely a pain in the ass.

Be sure to carefully wash hands of any involvement with installing dictators and stay clear of any piles of steaming corporate governance.

Infections can last two full terms if unlucky.

Which reminds me - don't know why - I must go and find an episode of John Stewarts The Daily Show which is of course the only way to get reliable news of the USA, having just departed there and being quite out of touch.

So, I have not been doing much since arriving in Oz. Tho' some friends organized welcome home get-togethers, and I've girded my loins and headed out to these. Can't dissappoint my adoring public.

Plans: still have no good idea what we're doing. Accommodation, cars all that is a bit up in the air. Stay tuned.